Biography

I start to love how the World is being craved, there must be some negatives to see the positive things in life. . I don't have any greatest enemy, as long as what you'd done did not affect me.

And lastly, please don't expect too much from me, I'm only 22 this year. Of course, please do not fake me like a kid, I'm going 22 this year. Yeah. Thanks.

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Sweetdesires

My one and only wish is for World Peace, ok it kinda stupid and I'm not Miss nice, so my next wish is that everyone will live happily and healthily. As what Lin said, health is wealth.

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Goodbooks

Harry Potter 1-7
The edge chronicles 1-6
Totto-chan
Tuesdays with morrie
The curious incident of the dog in night time
Memoirs of a geisha
Yakuza moon
Alone
Hide
Say goodbye
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Mindfreak
The girl with the dragon tattoo
Lovely bones
The neighbour
Live to tell
Cold warriors
I am god

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Sunday, March 22, 2009

Alice Mettel. Faye Dart.
Chapter Eleven- the last letter.


I’m Alice. Alice Mettel.

Just like what you have thought, just like what you have watched from all others typical Taiwan shows, I’m just a normal girl living in the normal world. I had never really believed in love at first sight, because to me, it simply doesn’t exist. I do not have any special reasons nor do I have any extraordinary encounter before.

It just doesn’t exist.

Then, you appeared in my life. You saved me from the back ally of Jennifer’s and I was totally in love with you.

When you left that night, I grabbed a seat that was nearest to me in Jennifer’s and tried to replay what had happened in the back ally. But the only image that came to my mind was your snapshot. I flushed. What that had happened in that ally, seems to have disappeared. All I thought of, was you.

Faye, this is how much I love you.

I do not have absolute proof that fairytales do exist, but somehow after that encounter with you, I know, and is confident enough to persuade them that, they do exists.

Although I believe in that, I started to grasp a simple truth; not all fairytales have good endings. Not all fairytales will end with happily ever after. Not all princes in the tales will fall in love with the princess.

All these lead to another reality; Love can hurt.

It hurts to see you laughing happily with her. It hurts to know how much you love her.It hurts to recognize that fact that I don’t even stand a chance. And of course, it hurts to accept the fact that, my best pal had fall in love with you too.

Before I could even stop myself from being entangled in this web of love, I had already been trapped.

That day when you had came in our classroom and asked Kane out to talk in private. I sat there, watching you left the class.

When Kane came back, she showed me a piece of paper, tore out from your book:

Although it’s too early to tell you, but, I really really like you. I never felt like this before. I guess, I’m really in love with you.

It all happened way to fast; I was too stunned to even move. My heart shattered. I suppressed my emotions. I tried not to cry and I sucked in a huge amount of air. I opened my eyes but fact is still fact.

I thought there must be some misunderstanding or your mind might not be clear at the point of time. But, it’s a fact and fact does not leave any possibilities for doubts. This fact, really hurt me.

Faye, this is how much I love you.

I always thought that I will not mind waiting for you, waiting for that moment when you will fall in love with me. I really do not mind waiting for you.

But, I mind waiting for nothing.

When I saw you and Kane together, my heart shattered and it broke into pieces. How I wish I could snatch you from Kane. How I wish if you could look at me. How I wish you’re mine. But I can’t do that now.

I’ve seen the doctor to reconfirm if I am diagnosed with cancer.

Yes, a thing that grows in your body which will make you sick. Eventually, you will die, and eventually I will die. When I knew about this, I know I cannot afford to wait anymore; I want to forget about you. I do not want to spend the last part of my life waiting for you, and yet got nothing in return. I can do nothing else but to bless you.

I will not forget that night when you were drunk in Jennifer’s. You fell onto the ground and I held you up. We were only that close, and this really made my heart pound a lot faster. I cleared away all thoughts and asked you where you live. But, you were moving closer towards me. You shifted your position from my right to right in front of me. Out of a sudden, you cupped my face in both of your hands and before I knew it, you kissed me.

At that moment, I was stunned. I gathered up all my strength to push you away.

I looked at you and my tears rolled down, when I saw you called me Kane.

Faye, this is how much I love you.

Eric was the first man in my life whom I trusted so much. I know he cares for me, he knows what I’m thinking, he protected me, and most importantly, he is willing to battle with me.

I’m not alone anymore.

When I met you’re outside that washroom, I could not control myself but to flush; memories of that kiss flashed through my mind. And what makes me sad was that, when I read your lips, instead of calling out my name, you said Kane.

But as what Eric said, no point thinking about the past when the future is in our hand, especially, if my report I’m going to get, stated I have got cancer.

Unlike all television shows, when one of the main lead is diagnose with incurable diseases, family and friends would hug her and said “it’s really going to be alright.” And then they could search for the best medication and the best doctor to cure her.

But well, as I said, it is an incurable disease, why bother to do all these when we all know that eventually she will die?

I rather do something meaningful, and leave something behind after I die. Instead of looking for the best medication, Eric promised to bring me to Africa to build houses for the children and buy food for them before I leave this world.

You must be thinking why did I not ask you but Eric to accompany me to the doctor.

I did not ask you to accompany me to the doctor, because I do not want you to know this awful truth. I do not want you to see me cry. I do not want you to be sad and of course I do not want you to said, “friend, you’ll be alright.”

Friend? I rather ask Eric to go with me than having the risk that you might named me as your friend.

Faye, this is how much I love you.

Eric was by my side when I got back my report. Although I’m prepared for it, I’m still shocked that I’m really diagnosed with malignant tumour. I always thought I will not cry when I received my results, but still, I could not control myself.

My tears just flow down my cheek.

Hope was always with me before I received my diagnosis test. I gave myself hope; I prayed every night that there would not be any problem with my test. I prayed that there would not be any weird tumor growing inside my body.

But it vanished, after I have gotten back my results. I’m really diagnosed with malignant tumour.

Uncontrollably, I cried. I could not stop myself. Eric patted my head and gave me a hug. The more comfort I got from him, the more difficult I could stop myself from crying.

Nothing came out of Eric’s mouth. He just stood there hugging me. Although he said nothing, his silence, his temperature, his breath, his everything gave me comfort.

Finally, I stopped crying and looked at him. A smile was what I have gotten in return.

For the next three months, I planned what I can do and what I wanted to do. Eric promised to accompany me to Africa to be a volunteer and help them build houses. I went online to check out the different organization and before I knew it, I went to my love, your blog.

An entry said:

Kane always talk to me about how she viewed her life.

After I met her, she started to teach me a lot of things which I had never neither learn nor experience before.

She was the first one in my life that told me it’s alright to be deaf.
She was the first one in my life that told me that if God took away my sense of hearing, he will be sure to give me another gift.
She was also the first one that told me, “don’t be restricted by the things you can or cannot do just because you are deaf. Don’t you know that life is all about challenges?”

Yes, life is all about challenges. After hearing this, I made the biggest decision in my life; I consulted the doctor about the surgery for my ear drum.

I wanted to be well. I wanted to hear your voice. I wanted to talk to you and of course, I wanted to protect you.

This was the first decision in my life, I made for you.

To know how much love you gave Kane, really upset me. But it’s also through this that I made a biggest decision in my life; I want you to be happy.

I want to do something for you and for forever, you will remember me.

Faye, this is how much I love you.

From the moment I decided to give you my eardrum, it’s a moment I decided not to see you again and when you had finished this letter, I had left this world.

Now that I’m gone, can you promise me something?

Please promise me that you will always remember my six I love you.

And this, is how much I love you, Faye.


“Alice. You know nothing. . .” I cried.

“Although Kane taught me a lot of things, the you in my blog was you!”

“I wanted to be well. I wanted to hear your voice. I wanted to talk to you and of course, I wanted to protect you! This was the first decision in my life; I made for you, Alice!”

“I have already broke up with Kane when I blogged this because,” I stopped, I cried, I cannot control myself anymore.

“I love you,” I finally said.


Today is March 22nd 2009.

Six years had passed since you left. Alice, I still cry whenever I read this letter, especcially if it fall on your death aniversary, March 22nd.

Today was a great day. I met up Eric and Kane for dinner. They really missed you. Ever since you passed away, I started to write journal and burnt it to you. The priest said I will dream of you if you received my journal, it's the sixth book and I never dreamt of you.

Alice, I love you and I had not forgotten you.

But, do you still remember me?

Love, Faye.


Chapter One:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/01/alice-mettel.html
Chapter Two:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/01/alice-mettel_11.html
Chapter Three:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/01/alice-mettel_18.html
Chapter Four:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/01/chapter-four.html
Chapter Five- a special chapter:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/02/alice-mettel.html
Chapter Six:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/02/chapter-six.html
Chapter Seven:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/02/alice-mettel_22.html
Chapter Eight:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/03/alice-mettel.html
Chapter Nine:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/03/chapter-nine.html
Chapter Ten:
http://cardreysaggistica.blogspot.com/2009/03/chapter-ten.html



Short preview of Ugly Bitch:

“You sey la!”

“You sey la?”

“No no! is you sey, not I sey!”

“Sey?”

“YA LA! SEY WHAT HEPPEN LA!” I sihouted.

“Is say. not sey! Come say with me, S-A-Y, say.”

“Ssi-A-Y sey.”

“Say.”

“Sey.”

“Say.”

“Sey.”

“It is SAY! NOT SEY!”

“Sey la sey la! Can sey what heppen le ma!”

“I want to say, Your English sucks you ugly bitch!”

That person who sey my englishsi sucksi is Jeson. He is my classmate and very the unfortunately, he is my loommate too.


To be continued.